Unnatural Habitat
by ReeReeWithAngst
Summary: Is love strong enough to make Stanley Pines do the unthinkable? The unnatural? And is there anyway to profit off it? Lazy SusanxGrunkle Stan


"He's doing what?" Soos listened.

"So you asked him to and he just did it?" A befuddled Soos asked.

"You didn't ask him to do anything? Wha... What?" Soos took off his fez and scratched his head.

"Can I bring a couple people over to witness this?"

"Thanks Susan." He fixed the gez on his head once more and straightened his fashionable suit. After sending a quick message Stanford's way he turned toward his tour group with a cryptic smile.

"Tour, we are taking a bit of a detour, but what I am about to show you is well worth the walk. Gravity Falls may not be ready for this, the world may not be ready for this. Now I know that many of you are familiar with Gravity Falls own Stanley Pines, a great man indeed. In his own way." The group tittered and fondly swapped Stan stories.

"He cheated me out of every penny I had," Gravity Falls' Resident Coin collector said with a casual laugh.

"He called me ugly and friendless!" Toby Determined said in his ugly and friendless voice.

"Toby, everyone calls you that." Soos said. Toby hung his head.

"I just wanted to be included." He whined sadly. They walked down the streets in an anticipatory silence and arrived at the home of another Gravity Falls resident, Susan Wentworth, typically known as Lazy Susan.

"To your right you will see the abod, abod? Abode? Is it Abode? I don't know. Abod sounds right. I'm going to say abod. To your right you will see the abod of Lazy Susan." He held the door open for his customers.

"Step this way folks, and you will see Stanley Pines doing the unthinkable, doing something that no one has ever seen him do before, without being forced at gunpoint to do so. Are you intrigued? Do you crave seeing this enigma?"

"Yes!" One cried. "ABSOLUTELY!" Another cried, almost ripping out their hair. "I WILL GIVE YOU MY FIRSTBORN TO SEE THIS!" Another screamed with an intensity that shook the building.

"Uh, no thank you. I already have one of those. 200 dollars for entrance, another 200 to take pictures." Soos said shrewdly. After all, he had a wife and kid to take care of. Money was essentially tossed at him in a frenzy, which he collected calmly before allowing the mob into Lazy Susan's kitchen, where Stanley Pines was indeed doing the unthinkable.

"Do do do, washing dishes, this is my dish washing song, do do do, ignoring the people watching me..." Soos slipped Stan a 100 for being chill about being an exhibit while people took gobs of photos.

"It will be another 500 if you want autographs," Stan said, winking at Soos who took the money as people queued up for a worthless signature. A couple more hundreds got slipped Susan's way. Toby Determined got mauled by Mr. Cat-Face. Stan kept doing dishes for his newlywed bride.

Crowds began to file out after the autographs had been distributed and the excitement had worn down. Toby Determined's face was removed from the jaws of Mr. Cat-Face, whose brutal mauling had actually improved Toby's appearance. Soos was about to leave as well, when another marketable opportunity rose up from the metaphorical dried phoenix carcass of the previous one. Regenerating like some kind of space time doctor person.

Perhaps it had been overstepping his bounds to alert Ford about this unlikely phenomenon. But fights sold like gold, buy gold, buy gold! Soos took in another thick wad of cash as the brothers punched each other, until lazy Susan awkwardly offered pie and they stopped to enjoy it, the crowd dispersing once more. Soos apologized and offered a few more rare pictures of U.S. presidents Susan's way, also accepting a piece of pie. She made incredibly good pie, after all, which was one of the reasons Stan had fallen for her and become a only part time adventurer, which Ford understood amd had never discouraged, but, when dastardly adventures turned to abnormal dishwashing, just had to make fun of.

As Soos Ramirez returned home, he realized that sometimes weird was good. And also that he should probably start doing the dishes for Melody more often.

 **It's a tad short but honestly I think this story is gold. Sorry not sorry if you don't ship Lazy Susan and Stan Pines. And according to the Wikia, her last name is Wentworth. If you can dispute it, please do. Since I'm trying to do a series of cute GF couples, you can comment couple suggestions but let's be honest, Melody and Soos is probably next. And then maybe Reverse Wendy and Robbie. Who knows. Also, let me know if you know of any cute Gravity Falls fan animation/song videos. I _love_ those...**


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